Sixteen Things to Do with a Baby Grand Piano on a Rope
(1) Be Sisyphus. Pull it up hill. (2) Lasso Van Cliburn for piano teacher. (3) Watch Alfred Hitchcock’s The Rope. (4) Light the rope as fuse. Listen to the strings and hammers burn duets. (5) Tie yourself to the strings. Yell for Dudley Do-Right. (6) Let the piano swing like Tarzan in the jungle. (7) Tie the rope to your ankle. Throw the piano from a bridge. (8) Change your mind. Surf back to shore. (9) Let Tommy Smothers keep his pet chicken on your rope. (10) Yoyo. (11) Put a hook on the end of the rope. Take the piano deep sea fishing. (12) Watch Jane Campion’s The Piano. (13) Set the lid as a moose trap. (14) Piano piñata. (15) Tether the piano so it doesn’t join Penn & Teller’s props. (16) Drag the piano like a religion of rope burn.